giving God your plans + embracing silence {with printable Bible Study}

I had different plans for my life than being a mom {remember this post?}.

I majored in Art History in college and completely fell in love with traveling when I took a year off to go to Capernwray, a Bible School in England and traveled all over Europe with a handful of girlfriends.

All that travel and seeing things firsthand sealed the deal...I'd get my Doctorate and become a Curator of some amazing museum in Europe. Preferably Italy. Done.

Well, as you probably know {and sorry if I'm bursting your bubble here} but life doesn't always turn out like you plan, or like it does in the movies.

Sometimes it ends up ten times better.

After graduation, I spent hours each day alone with God. Living in Seattle and working at a restaurant on the waterfront, I spent a lot of time walking the beach praying or would even take a ferry just to sit on the deck and read, coffee in hand.

The streets of Queen Anne became a place of peace and rest, as I parked my car blocks away from my favorite spots to sit and read my Bible, so I could wander through the beautiful old streets and enjoy God's goodness and the beauty of all He's created.

As I walked, I prayed, dreamed, and wondered what my future would hold.

Overlooking the Space Needle at Kerry Park or basking in the coziness of Parson's Garden became a place where God spoke to me, impressed things upon my heart {see this post about my quiet time}.

I always knew I wanted a life out of the ordinary. But I was searching for what that really meant.

I knew what I was passionate about and what my heart's desires were. But was that truly God's best for my life?

Could I actually embrace the idea that God's plans for my life were so awe-inspiring and greater than I ever could imagine that I should fully and honestly give it all to Him?

Oh Lord, how I want to make an impact in the world for You that outlives myself, I prayed.

A few weeks after that prayer arose upon my heart, one of my ferry trips across the water led me to Poulsbo to visit one of my best friends. I don't remember how the conversation with her older sister began, but the fact that I had no desire to have children emerged. With eyes wide as saucers, she simply stated, "Wow. Your Christmases are going to be so boring."

That silly little comment changed my life. It had me reeling for weeks as I realized the desires for my life were completely selfish.

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How was I praying to make an impact on the world, yet not searching for what God's actual desire for me was?

Sure I could do great things for the Kingdom in the life I had planned out. Mighty things. And I may have. But it wasn't about that.

There was nothing wrong in what I was dreaming to do...the problem laid in the fact I had made my own decision for Him, without much thought of actually consulting Him about it.

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Casablanca passed through my mind's eye as I recalled the movie's famous quote, "We'll always have Paris." I'll always have a passion for art history and traveling the world. But I didn't yet know it would be Africa I would be constantly traveling to, rather than my favorite European countries.

My prayer returned. Father, use me. Help me make an impact for the world that outlives myself.

Do you have a similar prayer? Does your heart cry out for more??

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.{Mother Teresa}

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Does the idea of spending a time of silence with God completely terrify you? Or perhaps it simply has no pull, perhaps the concept just doesn't appeal to you.

Think about this though...you have nothing to lose. Yet everything to gain.

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"We are so afraid of silence that we chase ourselves from one event to the next in order not to have to spend a moment alone with ourselves, in order not to have to look at ourselves in the mirror."{Diedrich Bonhoeffer}